Some odd impulse seized me at 6.15 this morning, kicking me out of bed and down to the gym, where I ran for half an hour and then had delicious nutritious breakie.

Went into coffee shop, where the counter girls sniffed at my glowing face and gym bag, justifiably disgusted at my keen fitness.

'I can't even wake up before 7 on a weekday' said one girl.
'I don't know how you do it...' said the taller one, a packet of styvesant poking out of her apron.
'I couldn't run 10 metres, I am so unfit,' bragged the one tasked with making my skinny latte.

I assured them I drank lots, had the occasional fag and only ever went to the gym so I could continue to eat shit, 'I am as normal as you are!' I said. I don't think they believed me.

Anyway this spring weather is shite. I might escape somewhere tropical. AHA! Am doing that already.