Chronology of mother's visit, May 2011. Several million calories.
1. Mother arrives, drinks then dinner @ Cafe Bedda, Sicilian joint in the N-cote. A-fucking-mazing scallops.
2. High tea at Windsor, pink champers, scones, pastries, sandwiches. Mother: 'you should see the loos. Amazing!'
3. Shop, shop, shop, shop. Wine, movie (water for elephants. Enjoyable but Pattinson is kind of a cock).
4. Breakie and Homo's. Shop, shop, shop, mother spends money money money on dresses. Rain storm hits. My feet get wet as fuck. Mother: 'no wonder you look a bit miserable'.
5. Y&J for some band listening with Moulder and Moulder's parents. (Moulder crushing on the guitarist.) Mother: 'You handled that very well.' (Referring to feral toothless Essendon player who crashed our party.)
6. Dumplings with Dingwall. Mother: 'I wanted to give Tim a kiss goodbye. Should I have or would that have freaked him out?'
7. Drinks with Leesh at supperclub. Mother: 'What a lovely girl!' (Leesh).
8. Dinner Hardware Lane. Gorgeous German waiter flirts. Mother: 'He likes you!'
9. Steak @ Terminus with N-cote crew. Mother tells advent calendar story.
10. Dinner @ melb central and then goodbyes to mother. Mother 'Your mascara is running, darling.'