I know it's selfish when Queensland is under 4 feet of water to whinge about the humidity here, but I am going to anyway. I am not very good with mugginess, particularly when I step outside, freshly showered, blowdried, madeup and perfumed, and within 43 seconds I am sweaty and fluffy. Also, flying insects that thrive in such conditions, must think my blood is some kind of very quaffable shiraz, as I am bitten in several places. Feckers.

Doesn't matter, as am getting lovely new bed tomorrow. Am appalled at the number of smutty remarks (three) from my friends (filthy minded, the lot of them) regarding the purchase of a new bed. No, I have not broken my old bed. No, it's not a health risk from the number of backpackers who have lain in it. The fact is it is hard and uncomfortable and cheap, and, as Phillie helpfully pointed out, has been since the day I purchased it in 2004.

But having a filthy mind makes life so much more interesting, doesn't it?